Have you ever spent countless hours looking at people’s lives and thought they had it better than you? In life, I mean.
Well, you’re not alone. In fact, I think an avarage person spends a lot of time comparing themselves to other people, and somehow, they always seem to have it better than we do.
They have better trips, better photos on facebook, better jobs, better everything.
But the avarage person, even the one you compare yourself to, doesn’t normally share their sad stories, their bad days, their difficulties and doubts in life. Sometimes, not even to themselves, let alone to the social world.
We spend our days collecting information about other people and use that info to compare ourselves to. That is our acquired parameter for how we are doing in life, as if there was a scale of one to ten, in which, if you’re above, you’re “better than” and if you’re below, you’re “worse than”. But that’s no real parameter to anyone.
We can never know what is really happening in somebody’s life.
Maybe they smile at pictures and cry at night, maybe they earn a lot of money, but feel lack of purpose, maybe they travel only because they need to get out of the rut they are in.
The bottom line is: you can never truly know what life other people are living, you can only know YOUR life. We can only know what is going on with US.
Where are we? How are we feeling? Do we enjoy living our lives? Are we inspired to live our lives?Don’t get me wrong, I know that looking at ourselves can be terrifying. We may have spent an entire life trying to escape from ourselves and our feelings, because we are so afraid to find out the truth.
The truth perhaps is that we are broken inside, sad or completely lost. Maybe we’ve been escaping for so long that we don’t know who we are anymore.
It requires a lot of courage to look within us, but it is essencial if we ever want to live a life we’re inspired by and feel good about.
We have to know where we are, how we feel, to know where we want to be. More so than anything: we need to know WHO WE ARE.
A few years back, during college, I was in the position of being completely and utterly lost. But the trick thing was: I didn’t know I was lost.
I felt all sorts of emotions, bad and good, but mostly, I remember feeling bad, pressured and nervous. I had come to an early adulthood not knowing who I was, or should I say, denying who I was and what I wanted. I didn’t respect my feelings, I was deep in self-hate and I didn’t know I had it so bad.
It wasn’t until a point where I had no other choice but to look at myself, for I was in such emotional hell, that I was able to take the first step into knowing who I was: I admitted to myself I was lost. I admitted to myself I didn’t know who I was and stopped following other people’s opinions and shadowing myself over for them.
It wasn’t an easy process. It wasn’t light. It was the first time I looked inside myself and all the bad demons, traumas, anger, resentment, sorrow I had inside began to show up.
But it was immensely better than having those feelings bottled up inside me, without understanding, without my attention.
For the first time I began outting my emotions and I was able to feel a sense of self that was positive. I began a quest to find out who I am. And have been at it for two years and a few months now.
I’m letting you in this story, because I want to reinforce that when we admit to where we are, even if it’s emotional hell, it feels much better than to cover it up with something else.
It takes courage. It may also take being in such a bad situation you don’t mind sending it all to hell and begin to feel ourselves, like it was for me.
So, I ask again: Where are you? How are you feeling?
Let these questions ponder your mind during the following days. Let yourself answer them slowly, as you feel you want to.
Let yourself be known to you.
We can do this journey together. I’ve been in it for a few years now and I love my life now more than ever before. It is my hope it will only grow stronger and better too, for me and for you.
Follow this story if you want to know where knowing myself is leading me to, and hopefully you’ll find some inspiration for your own life. 😉