Society makes it look like if we feel bad, we’ve somehow done something wrong and failed in life. We feel bad when work goes wrong, when something we’ve expected to go a certain way goes the other way, we get down on ourselves for not being that “Shiny Smily” person on Instagram pictures who seems to ALWAYS be happy.
This happens because there is this painful belief around in society that FEELING NEGATIVE EMOTIONS IS BAD.
We are a society growing beautifully towards being more open, more tolerant, more accepting of everyone’s similarities and differences, I truly believe in that. And one special subject that NEEDS to be addressed is HOW WE TREAT OUR EMOTIONS.
We, as human beings, are full of colors. We can shine brightly with happiness, sour with bitterness, become blue, skip of joy, rage with anger – we are multifaceted beings. But so many of us have been judged by family, friends and people in general for feeling a certain way. Who has ever experienced a grunt or a judging look from someone when you were complaining about life (a.k.a. hurting), or when you felt like your world was falling apart and felt desperate? I know I have.
This reoccurrence, though, doesn’t make it something right or good. It only makes us feel ashamed for feeling sad or blue, as if as humans, we didn’t get to feel or live the entire spectrum of emotions, from bad/negative to good/positive.
This comes from deep childhood trauma, for sure. People who judge harshly are also people who hurt, they just have no idea how to treat their feelings in a better way and splash it onto other people, spreading the hurt.
If we treat our pain as something that has to be shoved inside deep, so no one can hear, see or feel (not even ourselves), there is a big chance this pain will turn into something even bigger and more painful to bare with time.
If you feel pain, shame, hurt, sorrow, grief, desperation, all of them are OK for you to feel. They are emotions. Emotions are meant to be felt by us, and by being felt, they are PROCESSED within us and TRANSFORMED NATURALLY.
We have the capacity to transform anything within us. Transform trauma into bliss, grief into relief, sadness into happiness, sorrow into hope. We are THAT special.
So, I know it is perhaps the most terrifying thing to do, but please, consider opening yourself to your emotions. Consider feeling the hurt, that seems like is going to kill you if you turn in it’s direction. Consider feeling the pain that has been holding your heart tight in it’s suffocating arms. Consider being where you are, no matter how terrible it may feel like and I promise, no matter how difficult it seems in the beginning, it WILL get better and it will TRANSFORM you.
My favorite spiritual guru, Teal Swan depicts a very important process on how we can transform our most feared emotions into something beautiful and positive within us. She shows one of her processes in this video called “How to Heal the Emotional Body”. I proudly share her content, because of the incredible impact it has in my life. She has helped me get in touch with my emotions, heal myself and begin to love myself. Today I stand in a much better place and I am able to experience beautiful emotions because I turned to my scars to see them, feel them and transform them.
Loving ourselves and learning to love our emotions is a life long process, but I hope this encourages you to look at your own “feeling bad” experiences as a way to get to know yourself better and begin to see your own beauty without shame and without fear of being disapproved of by this “be-well-all-the-time” society (which I hope changes soon).
NOTHING IS WRONG WITH YOU IF YOU FEEL BAD, you are simply processing through important things so you can continue your walk.