Let’s cut the shit.

IMG_2825Photo from: https://www.instagram.com/linachans/

Not just ok, but ESSENTIAL.

We can never be the 100% cheerful, happy, strong, objective, willful. We ALL have the other side of the coin within us: the soppy, sad, weak, confused, stuck side.

If we try to be only one side of the coin, we fail.

So, in order to maintain sanity and health, we have to own up to both sides. And be willing to feel them. No hiding from it, no pretending, no bull shit. As hard as it might be to just admit to what you’re currently feeling, as hurtful and mindblowingly scary as it might be, it’s not worse than living in the hell of hiding yourself all day, every day.

So, gather up the courage to show yourself to yourself, in enclosed four walls, if you need, but show it.

And you won’t ever regret it.

#havecourage #bebrave #feel #show #allow #positive #negative #emotions

For one year, I would like to commit to…

 

…being as honest as I can be.

…being as comprehensive as I can be.

…being who I am, unapologetically.

…being loving and understanding (with myself and others)

…being free to feel what I feel, without guilt, without shame.

…being who I am, whatever is happening, whatever life throws at me (it being confetti or a few challenges)

…being strong in what I believe. (my heart, my spirituality, my relationship to others, my relationship with myself)

For one year I would like to commit to always remembering that:
“It’s ok to be who you are. It’s ok to feel how you feel. It’s ok if you don’t want to get up in the morning. It’s ok if you feel like you’re doing a good job. It’s ok to fall. It’s ok to rise. It’s ok to love unapologetically. It’s ok to BE. I love you. You are the heroin of my life. Keep being who you are and all shall be well.”

And this is my letter of New Year’s resolution this year.illu

What would you like to remember this 2017?

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Lina

 

 

VERSATILE BLOGGER AWARD

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I am so honored to have been nominated for the VERSATILE BLOGGER AWARD!

In order to kindly accept this nomination, I need to write about these aspects:

  • Show the award on your blog.
  • Thank the person who nominated you.
  • Share seven different facts about yourself.
  • Nominate 15, give or take a few, blogs of your choice.
  • Link your nominees and let them know of your nomination.

So, firstly, thank you @mjcobra for thinking of me! ❤
I do my blog with passion, because I love expressing myself and I love having this venue to do it, but I have been shyly participating in it and luckily MJ Cobra found me!

Onto the other aspect to participate: 7 facts about myself

  1. I love Stitch. Yep, from “Lilo and Stitch” XD I currently own three plushies from him, because I can’t live without one.
  2. I’m obsessed with plushies and cute things in general. I can’t help myself.
  3. I LOOOVE crystals and finding out what they are good for, wether for aiding in health or for aid with emotions. I truly believe in their energy and power.
  4. I am currently studying fashion! And I have never been more anxious or passionate, but I’m pursuing this with all my guts.
  5. I’m graduated in Visual Arts, which, led me to believe I needed to be a specific kind of artist, but throughout the years I’ve been realizing it doesn’t matter what kind of art I do, so long I stay authentic and true to myself. To me, that’s honestly all that matters.
  6. I am brazilian! Don’t think I mentioned this before. I’m a third generation of japanese people in Brazil, my grandparents came from Japan on those gigantic ships, it took them around three months to get to Brazil.
  7. I write since my sister gave me my first official diary, when I was a child, around the age of 8! And haven’t stopped since.

I could honestly go on forever with these facts, it’s too much fun thinking about different aspects of me and quirks to share with you. XD

I haven’t followed that many people here, unfortunately, but I nominate these two awesome ladies: MJ Cobra, because I love the way she writes and Marzia Bisognin, because I find her to be a great style inspiration and overall life style inspiration.

My nominees: Mj @mjcobra
and Marzia @ MARZIA’S LIFE

I had a lot of fun writing this post! I hope you were able to enjoy it as well. ^^

I will see you soon with more words and cute illustrations x)

 

heart2, Lina

 

What a sick week taught me

I recently had a very weird week.

It started off normal, I went to work and did what I did all the weeks before, I sold shoes, attended people in the store, cleaned it, etc, came home to find myself tired as fuck and went to bed. I did this routine with not much trouble, everyday a little different.

Some weeks ago, though, I began filling up my time with things that interested me: web comics and cool stories, blog posts of people I admire and all sorts of internet goodies.

Soon enough, I realized I had a much better time reading the comics and blogs than I ever did attending people and selling shoes.

This simple act of using my spare time to focus on things that I liked brought me to the realization that I wanted to fill up my DAY with things that I liked a lot more than what I was currently doing.

So started a very weird week for me.

It began by me feeling my body rejecting the store. Yes, my body let me know before my mind had comprehended that I didn’t want to work there anymore.

The rejection of being there led me to feeling sick inside and I began to feel ill. I was, indeed, ill. I had a few days off from work because I felt I couldn’t do anything. I barely got out of bed and spent my days watching my favorite tv series of all times: Friends.

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I was sick, though, not because I didn’t want to work anymore, but because I felt GUILTY for it. I felt so bad, so bad for not being there that I became physically ill. My immune system went down and I felt like shit.

The feeling of “guilt” had struck me and it made a hole inside my chest and stomach. I felt I was wrong for wanting to quit. I felt guilty for feeling sick, I felt guilty for not getting out of bed. I was deep in self hate at that point.

It took me days to realized guilt was making me sick.

It took me days to realize I didn’t allow myself to feel sick and to need nurture and help.

Took me days to feel just how bad I was actually feeling.

I was only able to move out from those feelings of guilt and hopelessness after I spent some time with the actual bad feelings inside.

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Carl Jung, said “What we resist persists”, so, I went inside myself to try and feel those feelings that were eating me up, as my spiritual guru Teal Swan teaches here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c3V_Gtfr_YA  

The feelings were so strong I couldn’t dive deep in one try. I was able to release resistance to it, though, which is basically stop going to war with what we feel trying to make it go away.

Only that was enough for me to wake up in the next day completely different.

I opened up to my mom and told her I felt like I couldn’t do anything right and that I felt lost. I opened up to my boyfriend and said I was tired of having things not working out for me. I felt hopeless and tired, as if the world was against me, but talking to them helped me realize I had good reason for wanting to quit the job. I had realized I wanted to fill my days focusing on things that make me feel good and see where THAT takes me.

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In the end, before this sickness I hadn’t realized I spent many of my days pressuring myself down to get things done and do what I “should” be doing, instead of what I WANT to do. This is the recipe to illness, stress and unhappiness. I had no idea I felt so stuck in many thought patterns of guilt, pressure and sadness.

I felt isolated in my misery. I believed for the longest of times that I needed to do everything on my own and that I would have nobody by my side to help ME when I needed.

I’ve had these hurtful thoughts and beliefs entrained in my mind for YEARS.

Thanks to this illness I was able to look at them and realize what I’d rather believe and live in my life.

I’d rather believe I have help and nurture when I need it. I’d rather believe I have support and that my wellbeing is more important than any job in the world. I’d rather believe I can take care of my emotional self and be kind to it.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want to leave this message with the feeling that this is the answer to all things and that we’re done looking for answers in our lives. I know I will have a lot of integrating to do. The affirmations I wrote a few lines above about what I WANT for my life that I discovered because of this weird ill week, may take years to sink in and for me to truly feel like I own in my life.

Those particular thought patterns that hurt me so much in the past are coming up for the first time to my consciousness and that is the very first step to improve my life for the better.

Healing really is a wonderful path to take. Allowing the negative feelings to be felt inside ourselves may just be the answer we’ve been asking for to feel better and stronger. Showing our inner selves we’re here for them and showing ourselves our love may just be the answer to our blockages and illnesses that appear in course. Because after all, we are all ALIVE and while we’re alive there’s always new things to learn about ourselves, may it be completely new or a pattern that’s been with you since you can perceive yourself as a person and that has newly come to your awareness.

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It was a strong revelation for me, to have my body, mind and spirit rejuvenate like that from the act of looking inside and being present with the bad feeling. I truly felt it changed where the illness was taking me, which was a lot like depression, I must say.

I hope I can keep being a good pal to me and that my dog days are over. Well, if a dog day appears, I’ll have a better shot at being a good pal to myself because of this experience.

I hope this helps you in a bad day/week/month/year too.

We’re all in this together,

                                   Linaheart2

Finding out who you are

Have you ever spent countless hours looking at people’s lives and thought they had it better than you? In life, I mean.

Well, you’re not alone. In fact, I think an avarage person spends a lot of time comparing themselves to other people, and somehow, they always seem to have it better than we do.

They have better trips, better photos on facebook, better jobs, better everything.

But the avarage person, even the one you compare yourself to, doesn’t normally share their sad stories, their bad days, their difficulties and doubts in life. Sometimes, not even to themselves, let alone to the social world.

We spend our days collecting information about other people and use that info to compare ourselves to. That is our acquired parameter for how we are doing in life, as if there was a scale of one to ten, in which, if you’re above, you’re “better than” and if you’re below, you’re “worse than”. But that’s no real parameter to anyone.

We can never know what is really happening in somebody’s life.

Maybe they smile at pictures and cry at night, maybe they earn a lot of money, but feel lack of purpose, maybe they travel only because they need to get out of the rut they are in.

The bottom line is: you can never truly know what life other people are living, you can only know YOUR life. We can only know what is going on with US.

Where are we? How are we feeling? Do we enjoy living our lives? Are we inspired to live our lives?BLOG_IMAGE1Don’t get me wrong, I know that looking at ourselves can be terrifying. We may have spent an entire life trying to escape from ourselves and our feelings, because we are so afraid to find out the truth.

The truth perhaps is that we are broken inside, sad or completely lost. Maybe we’ve been escaping for so long that we don’t know who we are anymore.

BLOG_ILLU2It requires a lot of courage to look within us, but it is essencial if we ever want to live a life we’re inspired by and feel good about.

We have to know where we are, how we feel, to know where we want to be. More so than anything: we need to know WHO WE ARE.

A few years back, during college, I was in the position of being completely and utterly lost. But the trick thing was: I didn’t know I was lost.

I felt all sorts of emotions, bad and good, but mostly, I remember feeling bad, pressured and nervous. I had come to an early adulthood not knowing who I was, or should I say, denying who I was and what I wanted. I didn’t respect my feelings, I was deep in self-hate and I didn’t know I had it so bad.

It wasn’t until a point where I had no other choice but to look at myself, for I was in such emotional hell, that I was able to take the first step into knowing who I was: I admitted to myself I was lost. I admitted to myself I didn’t know who I was and stopped following other people’s opinions and shadowing myself over for them.

It wasn’t an easy process. It wasn’t light. It was the first time I looked inside myself and all the bad demons, traumas, anger, resentment, sorrow I had inside began to show up.

But it was immensely better than having those feelings bottled up inside me, without understanding, without my attention.

For the first time I began outting my emotions and I was able to feel a sense of self that was positive. I began a quest to find out who I am. And have been at it for two years and a few months now.

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I’m letting you in this story, because I want to reinforce that when we admit to where we are, even if it’s emotional hell, it feels much better than to cover it up with something else.

It takes courage. It may also take being in such a bad situation you don’t mind sending it all to hell and begin to feel ourselves, like it was for me.

So, I ask again: Where are you? How are you feeling?

Let these questions ponder your mind during the following days. Let yourself answer them slowly, as you feel you want to.

Let yourself be known to you. 

We can do this journey together. I’ve been in it for a few years now and I love my life now more than ever before. It is my hope it will only grow stronger and better too, for me and for you.

Follow this story if you want to know where knowing myself is leading me to, and hopefully you’ll find some inspiration for your own life. 😉

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